My mentor, my best friend, and my husband’s little sisters spent the last 36 hours in and out of hospital waiting rooms. The patriarch of their family, the pastor of our congregation, suffered a heart attack in the middle of Tuesday night, and praise God that even though the attack couldn’t be called minor, his treatments were an essay in best-case scenarios. I didn’t see Randy, save for one thumbs-up in passing as he took an exploratory walk around the ICU, but what I saw in the faces of those four beautiful women as we camped in the waiting room had me praying prayers of praise to God all the way home.
Since most of their blood was made up of caffeine by yesterday afternoon, the girls and I went back and forth between sincere conversation and raucous laughter. They knew their dad was out of the woods and was likely to make a full recovery, but still they were very reluctant to leave the hospital. So we waited, half-drunk with sleep deprivation, and hopeful for positive news.
I’ve been blessed to have known this family for a long time, and the love they all have for each other never ceases to impress me. I’ve talked with Hubby in the past about how wonderful in is to walk into their home; there is so much love inside those walls that you just feel that everyone who lives there is fully secure in the place they have in each other’s hearts. It’s a beautiful thing. I guess I’m trying to say that I’ve seen them express unconditional love for each other, and still, in the hospital waiting room, they awed me. This kind of love between family may not seem so profound to people who are lucky enough to never have known anything different. But to me - an outsider looking in on an example of how a family after God’s heart should look – it was nothing short of miraculous; a testament of God’s love and redemption. All three of Randy’s daughters were terrified of losing him, not because they had a lifetime of regrets, or because they never got to tell him thus-and-such, but because he is such a daily part of their adult lives that he would leave a huge hole if he were gone. I have no idea what that’s like. I watched these girls as they joked and talked about their dad, and shared fond anecdotes of the things he said under sedation (apparently Facebook is there to tell people when you’ve had a heart attack). His youngest kept saying how much she wanted to curl up on the bed next to him, just to feel the comfort of her daddy’s arms and smells, because even as a grown woman she’s still her daddy’s little girl. Hubby and I have never known our dads that way. While I was vicariously experiencing this familial love through the Hall girls, my heart couldn’t stop praising God that even though it’s never been my experience, He still makes families that love each other this way, and that he raises up men who love and fear Him so much that they inspire this kind of love and devotion in their adult daughters. Each of the women in the Hall family have touched my life in a profound way, wither directly or through my husband, and I praise God that they’ve never experienced the heartbreak broken families cause. He is Good, and I praise him for their blessing. I really, really pray that one day the family Hubby and I make will look like that. Thank you, Randy, for being a dad who has honored God in the raising of your children. I have been blessed by your girls because they have been blessed by you. My family is better because of the example you and your family have been.
I praise God for the expression of faith I saw in my mentor. You never know how strong your faith is until you’re tested, and I imagine that watching your spouse’s heart fail on him would be a pretty big test. Kathy’s take on it? She said that even though she’s felt prepared over the years because of her faith in a better life after this one, for the first time she really knew that no matter which way the surgery went, her husband was going to be ok. Yesterday she was tired, she was drained, she was emotionally ravaged, but she was grateful and prayerful, and in her absolute love and vulnerability, she was exceptionally beautiful. I’ve loved this woman for may reasons for many years, but I’ve never loved her more than yesterday. I praise God for her (unintentional, I’m sure) example of perfect love and faith when she was facing every wife’s worst nightmare. Thank you, Kathy, for loving your husband so well. You are an incredible example to this silly young wife, and my marriage has been made immeasurably better though your wisdom and your example of faith.
More than anything else, my heart was filled with praise to God for the gift He’s given me in allowing me to be part of this precious family’s lives. For the church He’s provided. For the large surrogate family he’s given to my husband, myself, and one day to our kids. For someone who can’t think about the word ‘family’ without tearing up, having so many examples of good, Godly families in our church has been more vital to the health and success of my marriage than anything else. As I said, every one of the Halls has blessed my life, and yesterday I was completely in awe that He put such amazing people in my life, and that they love me, me, as much as I do them. A lot of the time I don’t feel like I’m good enough to deserve the great relationships I’ve been blessed with. And really, I don’t. None of us do. But that’s what makes God so amazing; that we can never be good enough, and He loves us unconditionally anyway.
Thank you, Halls, for everything you’ve been to me. For everything you’ve been to my husband. For blessing me by letting me be a part of your lives. I’m humbled by your love for each other, and the love you can freely give because you have been so loved.